I was curious if my life was any different that others that I see walking around in places that I tend to frequent, so I randomly asked several folks around how they live. It seemed a odd thing to do I know and I did get more than a few “who the fuck are you” looks, but over all the data I got back told me something I have known for some time. I am a hermit and I hate people. Ok, maybe hate is much too strong a word for me to use, but I must admit that most of the world really annoys me on some level or another.
My life is not what I would call ideal, but I have come to enjoy it and to be honest, there is very little stress in it, which I consider good for the overall being of my health. While I live with two roommates, one of them I interact with very little as their time is spent in the garage which has been turned into a hobby shop for model boat building. We are not talking small little things either these are scale size model with a lot of detail work put in. Most nights he is in there tolling away, and on the weekend, we find him joined by the many friends he has that do the same thing. He is quite happy with his life, and I can see that in him. My other roommate or landlord spends her time working three or four different part time jobs so is always in and out of the house, or busy with friends. She is a social butterfly and has a disarming personality, which seems to come to the forefront when the house and garage is full of boys. She is a man’s girl, not a girly girl, and is more at home chatting with guys and reveling in her drama then dealing with girls, thus the reason she has for the most part guy friends. She is still quite awesome and a delight and she can spackle with the best of them.
Then there is me, when not at work, I am either reading a book, watching one of the many TV shows I have TiVio’d or I am playing a video game on either my Laptop, PC or my Xbox 360. The latter of which is a new purchase, and the two games I am playing are somewhat fun, but not as enjoyable as the game I just finished playing on my laptop. From time to time I do attend a live action game, but these have become somewhat boring to me, and do require a certain amount of energy to show up and play. This is my life not a bad one, but I don’t really have any friends nearby and I have found an activity that makes me go and get some. Time my dear is something I value. Wasted time is the devils works and well, I admit that on most days, spending time with anyone is in my mind wasted time. This I know is perhaps not a good thing, something that I think each of us needs to look at, none more so than me. Yet, I decided to look back at my life and I came to realize that I have never had that many friends. I had a few in high school, of which I have only stayed in contact with one. For the rest of those I have made over the years, they have come and gone, mostly consider do to my fault at not working to maintain those relationships, something I have never been good about. Somewhere bar buddies, and I do not go to bars anymore. Some just moved away, and contacts where lost never to be heard from again. But those that I would have liked to stay in touch with, I just never did. Perhaps that truly is something about me that I must come to accept. That life and those around no matter the true outcome can all be attributed to your desire to work at what you want.
My desires I believe are rather simple. To not die broke, be happy, live simple and enjoy that which is around you. Does this necessitate that I have friends or even lots of them to fulfill those desires? I don’t think so, although as we have seen perhaps getting a few friends to spend time with perhaps might not be such a bad thing. Don’t want people to look at me and worry I might gun them down, or blow them up. Hmm, there is this one… o never mind that was just a bad thought.